Morning all:

“Reality in our century is not something to be faced.” — Graham Greene

Spring rains causing a drumbeat on the upstairs hallway skylight was what woke me up. Or was it the jabber of “The Truckin’ Bozo” interviewing drivers in the big rigs on the local clear channel station? In any case, it was the smell of coffee, in my mind, that caused me to stumble into the kitchen, carefully measure the water and the beans, and begin to brew a pot.

So close and yet so far away is the state of readiness of our family taxes. The prep work has been done, but that is as far as it’s gotten. Now I realized that in reality I have one week to finish the task due to upcoming travel. Guess what’s on my agenda for the weekend?

As the weather changed Tevita approached and asked about the fine art of performing an oil change on the old Benz. As is obvious, not only was it a huge success, we even stopped passing neighbors cold in their tracks as they ogled. The accompanying photo demonstrates just how cleanly and cleverly we were able to move the used oil from one container to the next.

Recently I had my regular dental checkup. Seconds after settling back in the chair, and about my third attempt at unhinging my lower jaw, the hygienist asked whether there had been a change in my health? No, all was normal and fine. Any change in diet? “No, but why all the grilling over and above the normal questions”, I asked?

Her interrogation was due to the fact that she noticed that my teeth had become quite stained since the last checkup. Quickly, the time usually reserved for scraping and picking turned into a 20-questions session. And yes, we did come up with the answer.

It would seem that I, one who earns their living in marketing, got suckered in by a great advertising campaign. I listened to a totally believable television ad, where a spokesperson in the perfunctory regulation lab coat, stood pointing to a long checklist of all the benefits of using Crest’s newest and best toothpaste—Pro-Health.

Apparently I must have overlooked the section dealing with the benefit of obtaining teeth stain. It was Cathy who managed to find the fine print on the back of the tube of the stannous fluoride laden toothpaste, where all was spelled out in ‘plain’ fashion. About a dozen lines into all the lawyers approved ‘cover-your-butt’ mumbo-jumbo, here is what it says:
….Other Information
• Products containing stannous fluoride may produce surface staining of the teeth
• Adequate toothbrushing may prevent these stains which are not harmful or permanent and may be removed by your dentist
• This Crest is specially formulated to help prevent staining
• See your dentist regularly

Duh, how could I have overlooked this bit of lingual clarity!

Pro-Health was the most expensive paste on the shelf.

Make it a great week everyone: I believe I am correct in that it was Mark Twain who once stated that, under certain trying circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer – even for something as simple as buying toothpaste.

Cheers,
Dirk