Good morning all:

Weekly Wisdom

”If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.” — Dave Barry

What a parade – Now that I am fully recovered from last Thursday I’ll pour my first morning mug of coffee and get started. Look up the geographical longitude and latitude of the ‘Nati and you’ll see that it’s exactly at the bottom end of the glaciers which covered North America during the last major ice age—this was earlier than a series of ‘mini’ ice ages and cold snaps and prior to there being any climate change. Anyway, it means that the Ohio valley formed because of a mass of dirt and gravel pushed, bulldozer style, by these advancing ice age glaciers. In other words, we have all the stuff Ontario and Michigan didn’t want, much like today’s reversal where New York sends its garbage back to Canada. Now, this ‘stuff’ is famously unstable and it is the fill that forms the hills and dales this town is built on.

I’ll get back to the “hills and dales” in a second. Thursday was the season opener for baseball. The Cincinnati Redlegs is the oldest professional ball club in the nation and has become the first team to throw an opening pitch and thus begins the new baseball season. Meaning, the event is accompanied with much hoopla including a two-hour long parade in advance of the game itself. The town literally stops in its tracks. This is the event that we just had to take the grandkids to.

To avoid any parking issues Cathy suggested parking by their house and then walking to the parade route–maybe a little over a mile away—all seriously downhill. Oftentimes there is a downside to something seemingly too good to be true. “Parking without issues” is wonderful. Walking back to the car going uphill the equivalent of a forty plus story building, without pause, including crawling up a seven or eight story concrete staircase is another matter altogether. Bring along little Vaioleti in a stroller and it gives the event a whole new dimension!!

Maybe you’ve seen television ads for asthma cases where, digitally, they show a pair of lungs outside of the rib cage. That was me at the end of the uphill struggle—my lungs were parading out in front of me. The staircase itself was breached by Jason grabbing the front of the stroller and me lifting the rear—a sleeping Vai was in the middle. Vai was sleeping because the first half of the parade was so exciting that it absolutely drained her. I was asleep by nine PM because the whole event absolutely drained me.

Crawling like Lindsey – Since I mentioned Vaioleti, let me surmise that to a little kid a parade can be a noisy and delightfully scary affair. Having weird looking clowns come up to you requires a trusted adult be nearby. A street full of very loud musicians can be a little much. Having 1800 pound Clydesdale horses clomp right in front of you is almost too much; at least this is what must have jiggled in Vai’s mind.

We’d found a piece of curbing to sit on and I’d placed a bit of a blanket to be extra comfortable. Seeing as the older two, Marin and Dinah, were doing just fine my idea was that Vai would sit next to me. Wrong. To ensure absolute safety Vai insisted she sit on my lap. With a low curb sitting “on my lap” really meant sitting on my crossed legs. It wasn’t all that long before I had lost most of the feeling in my lower legs.

Loss of feeling then shifted into pain. Eventually I asked Jason to hold her while I would stand and stretch. I lifted Vai to outstretched arms. It was then that I realized that I was not going to get up. The mind does work fast in these moments. As a loud marching band filled the street and plowed on by I rolled onto my hands and knees, crawled a step or to (very small ones), grabbed the base of a parking meter, and pulled myself up.

Anyone photographing this event could have passed the results off as some completely looped street person struggling before it was even lunchtime. I can readily see where Lindsey Lohan angrily protests, claiming that her crawling out of a bar is something readily explainable. From firsthand experience I fully understand.

Animal Planet – Our Zoo was a prominent part of the parade. The Zoo’s train rumbled on by, along with a number of staff people slowly passing along each curb each carrying one animal or another. For some reason Owls are always a hit and our side of the street had the folk carrying owls – including two Great Horned ones. These were the hit of the event. Several thousand people dressed up, transported themselves to the event, and rehearsed, all to be the most outstanding group in the parade. Yet it was a sleepy owl, its talons dug well into the keeper’s arm, that was the knockout best.

Then, niece Jacquie provided a link to a live webcam focused on a eagle’s nest with eggs. Click here to get a glimpse and some facts about the aerie. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll catch the eggs hatching. Thanks Marlene for passing this along.

Closing – The springtime special of brother Pieter’s Nonets continues—be sure to click on that page and enjoy. Yesterday the numbers crunching guy got our assembled tax material. Adrianne is beginning week 36. And then, as the Final Four starts up I’ll be going on my three mile walk. Nothing against the games themselves mind you, it’s the talking suits and their constant blather I struggle with.

Lastly – the happiest of birthdays to Jeanne P., Arty, and to Dia!

Make it a great week and to the birthday celebrants, a great year.

Cheers,
Dirk