“Early to bed and early to rise” so goes this bit of common wisdom. It’s true today, so early Happy Saturday. I’ll start the coffee over the next twenty or so minutes.

Yesterday, after what seems like weeks of ‘single digit’ weather the sun was out and it touched 40. What a glorious day it was to walk. My Fitbit, in use since it was my birthday gift last February, just informed me that I’ve recorded 1,600 miles (apparently the length of The Great Barrier Reef); the distance it says I’ve walked.

” There cannot be a crisis next week, my schedule is already full.” ~ Henry Kissinger (and moi)

The experiment – You see, in 2 days, 12 hours, 44 minutes, 18 seconds, that is when I become a test rabbit. That’s when I’ll be in this building, the Cincinnati Eye Institute, and leave 3 hours later with a new outlook.

I’ve been organizing to have my eyes tested. Amongst all the stuff going on there are also Cataracts. I was going to get one fixed. That’s when an offer was discussed; “would I be interested in participating in a study?”

Bottom line, I am now a participant – one of 220 world-wide – in a “Controlled, Multi-Center Clinical Investigation of an Extended Depth of Focus IOL”. I am officially a lab Rabbit.

For my brother George, this for your benefit, let me lay it out in automobile terms. Let’s say I realized I needed a new car. First stop, my friendly Ford Pinto dealership. After checking things through I get approached by The Sales Manager and get pulled into The Manager’s Office.

He tells me that if interested in trying out something new, say, an Acura NSX, I can be part of a study. They’ll ‘shroud’ the car and I’ll drive it for a year without knowing whether it was the Pinto or the NSX – it’ll be a 50% chance for either. And, there’ll be no charge and I keep the one I’ve been driving. Get my drift? So, now that I am officially enrolled the change is palpable.

I noticed it when I came in for testing on Friday to establish my base-line that a small red carpet greeted me in the doorway (some would say it was there to capture the road-salt off the foot traffic, I choose to believe it was for me). All the many little jugs of eye drops and visits are at no charge. And, best of all, I have been fast-tracked; first eye this Tuesday and the other in two weeks.

I absolutely know that I was selected for the study because of a glowing personality and my happy banter. Conversely, Marcia seems to think I signed up because I’m cheap – something about being Dutch. I choose to think that by participating I am doing it for the betterment of mankind. Betterment wins hands down.

However, she is on track with her special form of ‘backseat’ driving and is already telling me that I must NOT sneeze while being operated on; something else to worry about.

Another Black Hole – Like many towns, ours too has its share of boondoggles. One of the more costly ones is our latest iteration of the Streetcar. 

Actually we had a network of streetcars in the first half of the 20th Century. That system was ripped out and the cars sold, at 10¢ on the Dollar, to Hong Kong and Toronto. But these are different times and it would be of huuuuuge benefit to the city to have a streetcar – yeah right.

After many first class trips to Spain 3 American companies were passed over in favor of a Spanish company (which had NEVER sold a car into the American market).

So now we have a $120-million, 3-mile Disneyesque loop which costs us $5-million per year to maintain while it serves no real purpose. Oh, by the way, City Council just voted through a 12% Property Tax increase.

Spain is a warm country. With a period of global-cooling where we experienced some seriously cold days came a new discovery, these cars ($16,000,000 each) break down in the cold and have been parked for most of the week. Plus, after 16-months of use, the brake pads on half of the ‘fleet’ (we have 5) are worn out. Guess what, these are ‘special’ brake pads and not available at Auto Zone. They have to come from Spain and are now on backorder.

Enjoy this little song published shortly after the first fleet of cars was sold in the early 1950s. Might as well see the humor in all of this.

Finis – It’s a major week as you noted earlier in the post. But, as the ‘Ginzu’ knife commercial goes; “that’s not all folks.” No it isn’t, it’s also Cathy’s and Kirstin’s Birthdays – have a super and special day ladies. Then we’re thrilled because this coming Friday will be Tevita’s swearing in ceremony – he’ll officially become a ‘Murican. Congratulations Tevita!

Now, as Gary Jeff our morning DJ just announced, today is also the anniversary of President Trump’s Inauguration. In deference Congress has shut the country down.

Make it a great week.

Cheers.

Dirk